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lost dreams

Here lies the story of an amateur. An amateur in almost everything. This shall be a page of limitless talks about his rants, journeys, and his forever amateurish undertakings. The amateur is called The MaS, and The MaS is none other than Elwyn. MaS is short for MaSaLaH, which came to hit me in the head! It came many years ago, and so it shall continue to be used till this day and in the future. But it seems that you might want to know my past. My past lies here. So if you ever wondered how i was, then you can always check on my old blog. So enjoy the post that i post up every now and then.

Well this blog would certainly be staying private forever after all, and hopefully when I am ready, I shall begin a new blog as how i hope i could begin a new life.


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Saturday, September 16, 2006

The Journey of a Heavy Week And of The What If

This time around, i am really tired plus of course pretty stressed up. With such a busy week with assignments and tutorials which was like mountain high worth of workload i was still taking it easy. But i was able to do as much work as i could with the best i could with also the help of those who now trust me. Finally i was able to gain their trust. It took a toll on me but its ok. Cos i knew that to gain a lost trust i must give all my trust into them. Yes it sounds like a gamble and it is, but it paid off. Enjoyed the closer friendship i have with them now. Ahhhhh its nice .....

Owh the assignment, which was the AMA diary assignment, and also the CF assignment. Handed in the AMA assignment on friday and the CF assignment is due on monday. Hehehe, i have awaited for this long nice weekend rest. Gonna have some good time before i start on my work on sunday. Seriously, there is still alot of things going through my mind and yet i cant find the power to put it into words because its just soooo hard to word it out and to express it. But the thoughts are nothing more than just of "what if" scenarios from the actions that i might take from the multiple possible options to choose from in life. Because i am a thinker and also a worrier, i get pretty caught up in my thoughts that it kinda effect me and makes me worry of the outcome. Thats where my worrying attribute comes from. That is also the reason where i dont like to be late.

It is my nature to be early. I used to be very early last time. Nowadays i am either punctual or late. Because i am beginning to underestimate the time that i should allocate to do the necessary things. Well it is my bad on that part anywayz. Well i hope i am slowly changing into a better person but still many of my bad habits still hangs on hard !!!

Being closer to them is really nice. I kinda became the cameraman of the group since my phone is always used to video of events such as birthdays. Hahahaha, and recently we just celebrated Dee's birthday and boy i have some nice footage of the event. Hahahaha. It is a much enjoyable time with them though some of them are still tightly tied down by parent's control, but i understand because of how they are brought up anywayz.

It is nice to chat with a few of them too and it is also nice to learn a few new things about my new found closer friends. Hahahaha, and to think i was able to change their view about me within the past year or so. Its good!!!

Hahahaha life is indeed something that is unpredictable and it is always filled with gambling decisions which would come out with adverse effect which might cause chaos.

Ahhhh, finally time for me to explain about the Journey of The What If. Well, i have come up, or so to say day dream about what would happen if such and such were to happen. Some are bizarre but it is how i think. Should i share about the what if then ?

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Nahhh lets leave that for another day wont we. Hehehehe.

Well, now come to think of it, its been awhile since my swinging topic was brought up. The last time was when i was in my Pre-U year. Well recently been tlaking about it. I wonder, what would people thing about swinging. Here is the page about swinging and there are various links about the different kind of relationship that people in this world have. There is even a special name for relationship for an older man with a younger boy. I would like to emphasize it again. OLD MAN and YOUNG BOYS. I truly wonder what would really happen if this country were more open towards relationships. Especially swinging. It is because the last time i was doing my research on swinging, there is this site of a sort like friendster, but offers to meet up swingers throughout the entire world. And the number of those registered in this country was a staggering 18k if my memory serves me right. I dunno the figures now. If you are soooo curious as to what the site is. I think it is pretty famous among all, as it is called Adult Friendfinder!

Ahhh well, i dun have much time to do the research on this topic, but i think i might wanna recommend this topic to the communication skills students. And see what reaction do i get from them.

Ahhhh well, as usual do understand dat if i blog now, there wouldnt be any for the next few days unless there is some very important or urgent things that i need. Sooo i think thats about it. Till later, i shall see u again my blog!!!

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