The first 2 or 3 paragraphs were done while I was still fucking sane. But it seems that the last few paragraphs were lead into a frenzy as though I was out of fucking control. Well that was certainly the case as I was super super sleepy at the moment but yet I still continued to stay awake till 2.30 in the fucking morning. Hahahaha, what a stupid insane person I am. Well, it goes to show, that insanity is brought upon people who has nothing to do, and has internet access at their disposal. But of course this is still not the internet access that I wish, as I would like to continue my insane downloads from my beloved BitComet. Loads and loads of things to be downloaded, but I can’t don’t seem to know what I want to download. This is of course not a good sign because it shows that I am super forgetful of what I wanted! I have strayed afar from many of my objectives.

Talking about objectives, I certainly have strayed far far from what I am suppose to do as to the fact that I am beginning to doubt my own future in the accounting line. Of course it is a good future, but it is the path that is commonly followed. It is based on the rationale of my own mind and total disregard of my heart. Having face this semester’s subjects, I was hit hard in the head, how did I ever survived the past two years of torment through all those crazy subjects that demand thinking power that was not comprehendible by me. Of course this is the truth of life, if you follow the path commonly taken, your future is secured especially following in the footsteps of those had gone before you. But I have doubts about my own abilities in commanding all the knowledge that I have so called “gain” over the pass two years of studies in uni.

Of course this is not the time to back down, but maybe to open my eyes to new paths that are still undiscovered by my ownself or paths that are usually not taken by the “normal” person. Indeed this year is a crucial part of my future, but is it the future I want? I can never tell. As at the moment I have lost all my will to study. I have even failed my assessment test for CA (Corporate Accounting), but luckily my tutor is a really kind guy and gave me an extra mark just to pass me. Of course I would have to work harder for the assignments for all the subjects I am taking this semester as I do not want to pull down my partners with me to my grave. So I shall give them my best in the assignment. I hope my best would suffice for them. Especially for the CLD major assignment with the 2 other working ladies. Indeed this shall be an experience for me. I may require some assistance, and I shall throw out all my pride and ask or even beg for help in order to make sure that I do not bring my partners down to my grave.

But shall I go down 6 feet under for my studies? This thought still haunts me a great deal. Looking how things are going for me, I might want to give it a try. Better try than not knowing when I didn’t try at all. I seem to be losing a lot of things. I spoke about this in my last post, and I would like to retouch this topic in the sense that, I have no weighing machine in order to check my weight, and I fear that I might be losing weight, or maybe I am not. But it is still yet to be concluded. My hair lost, well I am working on it by not eating my potato chips as it is salty and I realize this after someone told me about it. Indeed my hair has thin down, but shall I go bald soon enough? That is yet to be concluded as well, but I do realize I am dropping a greater deal of hair in my own room now. Hair lost wei, don’t play play, this is serious matter.

Back to life. Life sucks as usual, with the weather being super unpreDICKtable with it shinning hell of a hot for 10 minutes and then rains for another 10 of course it was shining again for the 20 to 30 minutes or so. I am so fucking pissed by the fact that every time that I wanna wash my clothes, it is bound to rain! Don’t play play wei, I don’t have anymore socks to wear le. No more socks means I can’t go out. I need to wear socks le !!! Haihz, so now it is now drying in my room with the help of my little portable heater. Hehehehe, use electric a lot and a lot because it is free! Not really free its just that I it paid for with my monthly rent. So utilize it fully!!! This is a must. But internet is not free, have to pay. No fair! Nevermind la, around AUD15 per month for my house. No worries there. Hahaha, I now realize that I have significantly degraded my English a great lot as I am currently writing this post in Microsoft Words, and I see a lot of grammar mistakes and also several spelling mistakes. Wahahaha, my England is dam poor!! Lets go find an Aussieland man to teach me some crikey stuff to talk! Wooohooo I am crappy as ever.

Indeed, my room has changed abit, nothing significant and I shall take new pics of it and post it and of course post some pics about some of my most ridiculous purchases while I was here. Hahahaha. Owhhhh the comfort of my room, now things are getting a little cold, despite my heater doing its work, but towards the drying clothes. Owhhh living on my own is certainly painful experience but still an experience. Ahhhhh no more mood to write. Till next time bye bye!